Exams done: what next?

So with the exams done, here onwards it would be months before I get to finally and officially be known as a doctor. I don't fancy being called one but I would very much like to start practising before all these knowledge I have garnered starts seeping outta my skull again and not to mention being able to have a wallet with some cash in it. I am broke because I am jobless and I am jobless because it takes them more 6 freakin' months to give me my posting. Others don't complain because they have their own stretch of youthful years laid ahead while mine has almost been reduced to nothingness. Had the stupid board exam to be cleared off and the waiting period that accompanied it was such a pain in the ass and now THIS! Sigh. I decided to start writing again mainly because I didn't know how else to be productive during this dormancy that has befallen me. I could get a part time job, yes, but it will not be worth it! So many others wouldn't mind selling kacang putih or answering inbound customer calls about products that have nothing to do with the medical sector but that does not mean that I should follow suit! I still have yet another myth to break and that is regarding housemanship in Malaysia. On one side, you have this bunch of people who are quitting and feeding you with tales of the horrific lives led by house officers and on the other side, there's a bunch of show-offs who claim that it is their passion for the patients that has enabled them to function without sleeping or eating for days and being able to manage the mountaineous pile of work singlehandedly. I am not sure which groups annoys me more but both seem to send the take home message that the housemanship training in malaysian is almost an impossible ordeal to get by. Like, really? 🤔😏. Clearly, I am not able to comment further as I have yet to go through it myself but one thing's for sure: every bloody thing in this world WILL appear like you will never be able to surpass it but more often than not (..if you are asking about the frequency statistically, I could approximate it to a 75% chance that..), you WILL be getting to the other end. Look at me for instance.. despite all the hoo-hah that I read and heard about the epr exam, I got through both parts successfully and what's more, it was all done within my first attempt itself! For the record, I am NOT a positive person who goes about harping the good things in life or how I can motivate more people to become positive thinking assholes as well, but there are times when you gotta stand your ground and get it done in order to be somewhere.. in my case, to be in spa waiting list. How can you ease your anxiety spurts if you keep tuning in to what others have to say? Block em' out and do what matters. Read if you must but don't let any of their opinion, be it good or bad, find its way to your mind. I wish I could fast forward the time to which ever intake I am supposed and get started already but the reality is, I am left without a choice but to wait it out like the rest of them. It is the day when I walk out of this incognito mode will I be able to act and talk like a normal person because I am feeling as close as to a handicap for being financially nonproductive to my family. God, help give me the patience of the most serene of all organisms so that this waiting period does not fucking kill me!